Sometimes I just want to dance.

I was chided by a reader yesterday for not posting in several days.  It is not that I don't have anything to say, it is rather, I have too much to say.  Recently Bebe and I took a turn or two around the dance floor at my 45th High School reunion.  Her arms have gotten shorter over the years.  My hair spray was working.  I much prefer remembering "the night" than trying to find some way to explain the half truths and mis-information we get so much of these days.

After looking at the reunion pictures posted on Facebook, I decided it was time to put down the tortillas.  Bebe has decided to join me for moral support.  I know a skinnier me will still have the liver spots, gray hair, worn out teeth, and saggy skin, but it won't be so hard to get off the couch.  My motorcycle tires should also have a longer tread life.  I was working in the yard many years ago during one of my building phases when a smart Alec neighbor yelled "Are you going to the beach today?"
I replied, "No, why?"
He yelled, "You have your inner tube on so I was just wondering."

I have over the years traveled up and down in weight.  If I need to weigh on a cotton scale, I know it's time to push back from the buffet.  Once when the girls were younger, they went to visit my sister.  She cooks the old fashion Southern way.  They rejoiced when they looked in her refrigerator and found nothing with the label "No, low, free, or light."  I wrote the following poem while suffering hunger pangs during a previous diet.

No, low, free, light;

words I often see

when browsing through my pantry

or refrigerator door.

Let us have some lettuce

with our sprouts and tofu.

One more glass of water if you please.

Measure out a steak

no bigger than my palm

and I shall chew it slowly

while moving Brussels sprouts around.

Adjust the bathroom scale.

Move it ‘round the floor.

Take an average weight for best results.

One more glass of water if you please.

Do you have a public restroom?

I ask every where I go.

One more glass of water if you please.

How many times should one get up at night?

I wonder how much pressure

waistband closures can take?

Isn’t there a pill out that doesn’t make you shake?

One more glass of water if you please.

I’m fasting today.

I really think it’s water weight.

Dennis Price

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it.
  - Pierre Gallois